I've been twenty-two for one third of a year and that is terrifying to me. I've done nothing substantial, I'm doing nothing substantial, and I have nothing substantial. The most frightening part is that I don't know how to change it. It's like I've gotten off at the wrong exit. It's like my cruise control is stuck on and keeps rolling me unavoidably forward. It's like my steering wheel is locked and is forcing me in an unwanted direction. I feel like I'm waiting to completely run out of gas or break down so that I can hope for someone to save me. And that, that's a terrible way to feel.
Maybe I'm exhausted? It's awfully hard to fall asleep as of late and damn near impossible to wake up. The unfortunate bags under my eyes are darkening and becoming more obnoxious. I'm slipping at the only thing I've ever been "good" at due to a serious case of apathy. Being good at school is no more than mediocre, though, and nothing to be all too proud of.
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